Slipping Away
by Musings of a Shaken Mind
Summary: She stands on the edge, watches the sea. It’s so easy. She’d just come up here for some recreational stuff, but she wonders now if that was just an excuse." ExB. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a little OneShot, an alternative take on the moment Bella jumps. Actually, I pretty much changed the whole damn lot. Got rid of the Volturi, for starters. I never much liked them anyways, so it's all good. Oh, and Jake. And Eclipse. And the DevilSpawn-crappy-imprint storyline that I hated so much. Gah, Breaking Dawn was such a disappointment.  
**

**It actually occurred to me recently that most of my fics are based during New Moon. But you all knew that I was a morbid person, and New Moon is my favourite book, anyways.**

**Hope the character changes aren't to difficult to follow. I didn't plan this at all, I just kept bashing away at my keys, and I'm not too displeased by what came out of my moment of creativity. Feedback? Please?**

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**S L I P P I N G - A W A Y  
A _Twilight _FanFiction  
by Becky Scarlett-Cullen**

**Chapter 1**

**

* * *

**She stands on the edge, watches the sea. It's so easy. She'd just come up here for some recreational stuff, but she wonders if that was an excuse. She feels so free, her dark hair whipping around her face. Her eyes are alight in a way that they haven't been for one hundred and eighty-four days. She takes a step closer to the edge, and then she hears his voice. Heartbreakingly beautiful. She's ready to die, just so that she can hear that sound. Death would be nice, you know? A release. She had only just been able to refrain from killing herself before, because what would that do to Charlie? But that doesn't matter now. Her thoughts are far from any family that she's ever had. It's like they don't exist.

_It will be like I never existed._

The words rip through her, tearing apart the old hole (repaired for a little while) viciously. It hurts. It probably always will hurt. It's not that the pain has changed; it's just that her pain threshold is higher. But only when she's got her defences up. When she's most vulnerable, when she's sleeping, it hurts just the same. Vicious, unforgiving, stabbing pain. She sucks in a breath—the last she'll ever take?—and jumps.

All she can see is the crashing waves, flying up at her. She lets fly a scream of exhilaration. It's matched by one of horror, in her mind.

He's with her until the end. _"I love you, Bella."_

_

* * *

_She sees her jump. Why would she jump? The idea was that she'd be better, that she'd move on, forget about them. Apparently not. She'd always known that it would be difficult, of course. But Alice never thought that she would resort to this, of all things. Suicide.

She picks up her phone, and dials a familiar number. Her fingers shake as she attempts to press the sequence of numbers. The phone rings. A dead voice answers.

"_E-Edward…"_

_

* * *

_He receives the phone call, and all at once, he's sprinting. Faster than he's ever gone before, faster than any sports car. He's sprinting home. He's always been the fastest. And now that's great. He's faster than anything. But will he ever be fast enough? The precious second tick away as he runs. He just keeps running. _Ten minutes_, he thinks. _Ten minutes to get to La Push, First beach. And damn the bloody treaty.  
_

_

* * *

_She's flying. For the first time in her life, she's flying. It's beautiful. For a moment, she finally grasps the concept of flight. She can die now, it's okay. She doesn't mind.

A million thoughts flash through her mind. The most predominant of which is a scream. A scream fuelled by love.

_Edward… Edward, I love you. I love you. I love you._

It doesn't even hurt any more.

* * *

He reaches the base of the cliff in time to see her jump. He sees her roll onto the balls of her feet, and he cries out. She's too far away. She can't hear him. His vision shows him in high definition her last moments, perfect clarity. He sees her victorious smile, hears her scream as she throws herself from the cliff. And all he can think of is the fact that it's his fault. _His fault…_

He plunges into the water at the same time she does. The cold shocks even him; he dreads to think what it might do to his fragile human Bella. It takes a few precious seconds, but he sees her. Wrapping an arm around her tiny waist, he pulls her to safety. But it seems like it's too late, even now. Her pale skin is even paler than usual—as pale as his. There's no difference as he presses a cold hand to his love's cheek. Alive. She has to be alive. She can't not be alive.

He loves her. He tells her this, whispers it in her ear. He's said it a thousand times, and he'll say it a thousand more if it means it will save her life. But he can feel her. Slipping away. Slipping… slipping…

He knows what he has to do. It hurts. What if she doesn't want eternal damnation? What if she really did want to die?

But it's too late to think of that now. He's too selfish to give it much thought, anyway. Brushing away wet hair plastered to her ivory neck, he bites down. Into their future.


	2. Chapter 2

**It was a one-shot. I swear it was. Really. But I can't stand up to persuasion like that. I mean… argh! So I give in. The one-shot is now a multi-chap. Are you happy now?! Are you?! **_**Are you?!**_

**On a bright note, I passed English at the head of my class. Woohoo! Who cares about Maths/Physics/Chemistry, as long as I passed English?!**

**Okay, I do. Meh.**

**

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****S L I P P I N G - A W A Y  
A **_**Twilight **_**FanFiction  
by Becky Scarlett-Cullen**

**Chapter 2**

**

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**

_But it's too late to think of that now. He's too selfish to give it much thought, anyway. Brushing away wet hair plastered to her ivory neck, he bites down. Into their future._

It's painful.

In fact, it's nearly as painful as his own transformation, almost one hundred years ago. Watching her scream and cry as she's changed into something inhuman and monstrous. It hurts him as much as it hurts her.

It' been so long, but she seems so familiar. Her warmth in his cold arms, intensified by the fire that he knows burns inside of her. She still fits so perfectly into his stone arms, but he always knew that she was made for him. That doesn't stop him from questioning his right to happiness, though. His right to _her. _He's done so much wrong, he thinks. Surely he's past the point of no return now, the point where no amount of redemption on his part can save him.

But, he supposes, that doesn't really matter, as long as he can have her. He needs her. He needs her more than he needs oxygen, or blood. Hasn't he proved that, by staying near her, despite the fact that her blood is so much more potent to him than any other he has encountered?

He sometimes wonders whether he had an ulterior motive for leaving, though. Maybe it's because he was never really strong enough, and it got too much for him. Still. Whichever way he looks at it, his absence was for her own good.

She screams again wildly, and her spine arches. She's trying to escape, and that's good. She's still alive, at any rate. But the pain of her transformation is taking its toll on him. He's not sure how much longer he can withstand this terrible, all-consuming pain.

As she burns, he suffers.

He knows that he's damned her to this, and he regrets it already. But wouldn't stone Bella be better than no Bella at all? Better than a Bella, lying at the bottom of the sea, dead and forgotten? Is vampirism really worse than that?

Yes, he thinks. Yes it is. Shame he's too selfish to have seen that before she passed the point of no return.

* * *

Alice sees. Of course she does. She sees, and it makes her incredibly happy. Bella's not going to die.

Not really.

Not entirely.

She'll still exist. In a way.

Though it'll be strange… Strange in a good way. But it will be strange to have Bella as a sister. Wonderful, but strange.

Alice wonders how Rosalie will react. Perhaps she won't mind.

She almost certainly will.

The finer points of her gift can be incredibly frustrating. Edward has not yet made the decision to tell his family—and Bella has not made the decision to even go with him. Rosalie does not know about this whole affair, in any case, so how could she have made her decision to accept Bella, or not?

Alice sighs. Sometimes it would be easier just to be relied upon to predict the weather, or even to be normal. To not have to think about what the future brings, to be able to live in the present. That's what she wants. She wants to live in the present.

Shame her gift makes that impossible.

* * *

_Mirror, mirror, on the wall…_

Oh, how annoyingly cliché, she thinks. The kids at school all assume that all she does all day is primp and preen. How else could she look so perfect, they think?

If only they knew.

If only they knew that she'd take ugliness any day, instead of this parody of life. She wonders, once again, if Bella knows exactly how lucky she is. The human girl. You know, the one Edward was so pathetically consumed by for several months. Rosalie was glad when he saw sense, really.

But now, she's not so sure.

Does Edward really deserve that? The pain? Wouldn't it have been easier if he had just changed her in the first place?

No, she mustn't let herself think that. No. No. No. No-one deserves this. No-one has ever done enough wrong to land this fate. Only the unlucky survive.

Mind you, if anyone is unlucky, it is Bella Swan…

* * *

She knows exactly what is happening to her body. It's changing. She knows enough detail about the transformation to know that she's becoming a vampire. Oddly enough, her thoughts stay coherent throughout the pain, as if it is detached from her body as it burns.

Vaguely, she hears soothing words whispered in her ear. But it's just a hallucination, of course.

She'll wake up, and she'll be alone as ever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Blah, I know it's short. I'm ill. That's my excuse. Yes m'darlings, I have had yet another day off school. Now normally, this would not be a problem. However, it's the last week of term, and frankly the most fun. I'm missing all the skipping periods too, because of music rehearsals. Instead, I'm cooped up in the bloody house, and I'm going insane.**

**I haven't even written my drabble for the day. I'm sorry. I need sleep. It's only 10:51 pm here, too. Usually, I wouldn't got to bed until after midnight... but I'm tired, so stfu. Night all. **

**(If my drabble doesn't get posted tomorrow, it means I have died of the flu. Very possible.)**

**((Um yeah, UPDATE: Sorry, I clicked the wrong thing and managed to post chapter 5 of 'Return' here instead of this. My mistake. Blame the illness.))**

**(((I AM GOING TO SEE TWILIGHT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!)))  
**

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**S L I P P I N G - A W A Y  
A **_**Twilight **_**FanFiction  
by Becky Scarlett-Cullen**

**Chapter 3**

**

* * *

**Her breathing slows. Her hearts splutters erratically. He knows it's almost over. All he has to worry about now is what her reaction to him will be, after so many months (it feels like forever).

It would be nice if Alice were here.

Her pain is his pain. Even now, as the burning intensifies, honing in on the heart still trying desperately to beat, despite the threat. They both know that the burning will win.

She'll be beautiful, too. Beautiful enough to rival even Rosalie. Not that she wasn't always beautiful to him, but he knows how she thought of herself. Maybe she'll accept now that they belong together. For always. Maybe, though, she won't.

Maybe she'll be disgusted by him. Maybe she'll run away, leave him like he left her. Maybe she'll kill him,

He'd deserve it, if she did. And she'd have no trouble at all pulling him to pieces, with her newborn strength. He would let her, he thinks. If she wanted him dead, then he would die. Gladly. If that made her happy, he'd do it. Anything for her. Like Emmett would do anything for Rose, and Jasper would do anything for Alice. That's love, he supposes. Eternal and deadly and beautiful. The most wonderful thing that's ever happened to him.

He distracts himself by reliving every moment he's ever spent with Bella in his mind. Every day spent in the sunny meadow, every Biology lesson, every hour, every minute they spent together. Every night he spent in her room. He remembers them all with perfect clarity. But now it's time for new memories. Memories that she remembers as well as he does. He wants to share eternity with her.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, startling him from his reverie, and he flips it open

New Message.

Opening it, he reads the words at Vampire speed.

_Three minutes, forty-seven seconds._

He can live that long.

It's a shame she won't make it.

* * *

She watches as the heart slows, and stops, after a final beat. She sends a message to Edward's phone.

_Three minutes, forty-seven seconds._

She sees him receive it, and snaps her phone shut, immersing herself once more in the future. Someone needs to keep an eye out.

* * *

Burning. Burning. Burning. It gets hotter. How can it get hotter? How can it possibly get any hotter than this?

Her imagination keeps sending ideas to her. Visions of a familiar man crouched protectively over her, and she smiles through the pain. She loves him. Even in her nightmares, she's in love with Edward Cullen. Even while she's burning, she's in love with Edward Cullen.

Then the burning stops.

It's so abrupt that she doesn't realise it, at first. But suddenly, she can hear everything. She can hear birds overhead, calling out. She'd forgotten about the existence of birds.

How nice.

She hears the breath that is sucked in by a person next to her, and somehow she knows that it's unnecessary for that person.

Maybe, she knows it's Edward.

She'd like to think so.

Cautiously, she opens her eyes.

* * *

He breathes in sharply as her heart beats its last, before shutting down permanently. She is even more beautiful than before, if that was even possible, just like he'd imagined. Lovely.

Slowly, she opens her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**The much requested fourth chapter. Wow, guys-- feedback has been amazing for this story. I'm glad you seem to like reading it as much I like writing it. **

**S L I P P I N G - A W A Y  
A **_**Twilight **_**FanFiction  
by Becky Scarlett-Cullen**

**Chapter 4**

**

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**Her eyes are shocking, but he hardly notices. His gold eyes are fixed on hers. He doesn't see the colours, but he could hardly miss the emotion. When she speaks, he's shocked for a moment, trying to process the glorious, bell-like sound.

"Oh, crap."

He raises an eyebrow. They weren't perhaps, the words he was hoping for.

"Bella?"

"I'm dead, aren't I? Crap, crap, crap… Charlie…"

She'd tried to kill herself, and _now _she thought she was dead?

"Bella…"

"Shut up." Her hand reaches up, lightning fast, and clamps over his lips. She's strong. Fast, too. But she doesn't seem fazed like this. "Let me think, please."

He winces slightly under her grip. She doesn't know her own strength. But he won't interrupt her to tell her so, because she's so beautiful when she's thinking.

After a moment or two, she opens her crimson eyes again, and smiles. The sight makes his heart break.

"So, dead, huh? Is it nice up here? Have you had a look around yet?"

She thinks she's dead. It's sort of funny, how appropriate that is. She's closer than she should be.

"Carlisle was right. You do have a soul. I always knew you were an angel, Edward."

He can't find the words to speak.

* * *

She opens her eyes.

Everything is beautiful. Glorious high-definition, complete with surround-sound. She can see every speck of dust that floats in the air. She sees the roll of the clouds as they sail across the sky. The intricate patterns that the rock high above her makes fascinate her. It's so lovely. She never imagined it would be like this, death.

Somehow, she sees this with the lesser part of her mind. The greater part is entirely fixed on the pair of golden eyes above her, and the face with them.

At first, she doesn't recognise him. He looks a bit like Edward, but even more beautiful. Possibly an angel.

An angel… oh dear… that means she succeeded in her irrational task. But Charlie…

"Oh, crap."

She starts, wondering where the voice came from. _I was going to say that._

But there's no-one. She didn't see his full lips move. It takes a moment, but she realises, finally, that it's her. The lovely voice is hers.

The angel who resembles Edward speaks, then. "Bella?"

Oh, he sounds like Edward, too. That's nice.

"I'm dead, aren't I? Crap, crap, crap… Charlie…" He's all she can think of, once more. Her father. And she's destroyed his life. Why, why, why didn't she think?

"Bella…"

He attempts to speak again, but she slams a hand over his mouth. Briefly, she wonders if there's some kind of punishment for assaulting an angel, but she will cross that bridge when she reaches it. If she reaches it.

She closes her eyes, trying to think things through. The pain… she remembers the pain. That means she must be dead, it only backs up her earlier suspicions. She opens her eye again, and he's still there. The angel. That makes her smile.

"So, dead, huh? Is it nice up here? Have you had a look around yet?"

His expression twists. She wonders what she said… And the expression does remind her so much of _him…_Could it be? Only one way to find out…

"Carlisle was right. You do have a soul. I always knew you were an angel, Edward."

He's silent. Damn, she was wrong. Not Edward. She wishes it was…


	5. Chapter 5

**S L I P P I N G - A W A Y  
A **_**Twilight **_**FanFiction  
by Becky Scarlett-Cullen**

**Chapter 5**

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**The silence stretches.

It's not exactly uncomfortable. No, in fact, it's anything but. But it's odd. And neither of them like it.

They both try to break the silence, at the same time.

"Bella, I—"

"Sorry, but—"

They both stop. He gestures for her to continue, so she does. This is hard for her to understand. Is she not dead, then?

"Sorry, but am I not dead, then?"

He stares at her in disbelief, and she's almost hurt by the look of incredulity he offers her. But now, she knows pain. Now, she's stronger. She's been through the worst pain imaginable, and she's also been through the burning. Nothing even compares to either of those things. So she's not really hurt by him, not now that he's here. With her.

Apparently.

"Of course not, Bella… You're not dead, and neither am I, though you came pretty damned close to it, today…"

He runs a hand through his wet messy hair, looking out over the beach, across at the cliff, up at the overcast sky. Anywhere but at this angel that he's turned into a monster.

"Bella, I'm so sorry… I had no right to change you—"

She cuts him off. "Do you regret it?"

That shuts him up. He stares at her, his mouth hanging open. What, is she_ joking_? Of course he doesn't regret it. Well, not in the way that she thinks.

He gets to keep her forever.

For eternity.

"Of course not, love."

Love, He called her _love_. Does that mean he still cares, then? Bella hopes so. Maybe it's the guilt. The guilt that he finally changed her—because she knew how he felt about that. He'd always been so touchy about that subject.

She keeps expecting the tears to fall, but they don't come.

It takes her a moment to grasp the fact that they'll never come again, not for her.

Alice watches the conversation, relaying the details back to the family. They're all gathered around; even Rosalie looks interested. Sort of.

They want to go and find her, but they can't. She's still on Quileute territory, see. That'll be a problem, actually. Not only did he bite a human, but he had the nerve to do it on their land. No, they won't like that.

Damn Edward. Couldn't he at least have run her back home? It's not like it would take him long, not at his ridiculous speed.

But he couldn't have, and she knows it. He hadn't had time to once he'd gotten her onto the beach, and he couldn't bear to while she'd been burning. But now, he has no excuse. Now, he has to take her home to meet her new family.

* * *

Jasper sits with his head in his hands. The constant array of emotions is overcoming him. One minute, he's overwhelmed by hope from Esme. Then it's slight annoyance and worry from Rosalie, excitement from Alice, impatience from Emmett…

Carlisle is the only one who can seem to stay calm, and Jasper is grateful for that.

Alice breaks the tense silence.

_"They're coming. They'll be here in five…four…three…"_

* * *

She sees them coming. They're running, and Bella's hand is in Edward's. A smile graces both of their faces, and Alice takes a moment to appreciate Bella's new, immortal face.

She's beautiful. She'll give Rosalie a run for her money.

And she's coming back to stay. Alice can see that now. The beatific smile on Edward's face would be proof enough of that, even if Alice hadn't already seen their future.

The future's bright. It's full of love, and happiness… it's forever.

_"They're coming. They'll be here in five…four…three…two…"_

* * *

They're running together, and he's ecstatic. Not only is he, at last, reunited with the love of his life, the woman of his dreams, but she's accepted him, too. And he has her, forever.

He glances across at her, and she smiles back. She can run as fast as him, now. They still fit together like to pieces of a jigsaw, they match. Only now, it's more even. In her eyes, anyway.

They've talked it over. Now, she knows the reason that he left, and she's accepted it. He knows her kiss, again. He's reacquainted with her smile. Her hand in his is perfect; now, they're the same temperature, and he can grip it properly without having to worry about crushing the bones in her hand. And that's just one of the perks.

But they've got all of eternity to explore those.

They approach the house. Both of them can hear Alice, now.

_"They're coming. They'll be here in five…four…three…two…one."_

They open the door, and they're home.

Together.

And this is just the beginning of forever.

_FIN._

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**And thus, it ends. I can't decide if I like the ending, I think that there may be too many ultimatums. But whatever. Basically, I just re-wrote half of New Moon, all of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Woohoo!**

**There will be no sequel. I don;t like sequels, because all of my sequels have simply crashed and burned. Dramatically. I'm quite happy with the way this one turned out, and I don't plan to drag it down with a half-assed sequel. But I do quite like this format, I enjoy writing it... so maybe I'll give some other moments similar treatment. Hmm...**

**Bad advertisement: Check out my other stories! I just updated _Hallucination, _and am planning to update _Shadow _soon enough. I also might have a shot at another chapter of _Angelic _tonight, too... but I'm not promising anything. Keep an eye out!**

**Thanks for all the reviews and stuff. You know that they mean the world to me. **

**LoveMuchly!  
Becky xx  
**


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